The Parkers' Christmas Turkey

Serve when

Serve it the moment Mrs. Parker pulls the roasting pan from the oven — this dish is over almost as fast as it arrives.

In the movie

Theatrical

~01:18:30 Mrs. Parker takes the golden roasted turkey out of the oven for Christmas dinner, sets it down for a moment, and the Bumpuses' pack of hounds bursts through the unlatched door and devours the entire bird on the spot.

It's the centerpiece the whole family has been building toward all movie, and it survives on screen for maybe ten seconds before the Bumpus hounds destroy it. The turkey the Parkers never get to eat is the reason they end up at the Chinese restaurant instead — this dish and the Peking duck are a matched pair.

Ingredients

1 whole turkey (10–12 lbs)
1/2 cup butter, softened
1 lemon, halved
1 onion, quartered
A few sprigs fresh sage, thyme, and rosemary
Kosher salt and black pepper
2 cups chicken or turkey stock, for the pan

Method

Preheat the oven to 325°F. Pat the turkey dry inside and out. For crisper skin, do this the night before and leave the bird uncovered in the fridge overnight — dry skin is what browns.
Season the cavity with salt and pepper and stuff it with the lemon, onion, and herbs.
Rub the softened butter all over the skin and season generously with salt and pepper.
Set the turkey on a rack in a roasting pan, pour the stock into the bottom of the pan, and roast, basting occasionally, until a thermometer in the thickest part of the thigh reads 165°F — roughly 2.5 to 3 hours for a 10–12 lb bird.
Rest for 20–30 minutes before carving.
Whatever you do, don't set it down within reach of an open door if there are dogs in the neighborhood.

Beyond the recipe

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